Find the Support You Need When Your Child Has Autism

It is often said that parenting is one of the most challenging jobs but yet the one for which we receive the least training.  It not only requires an abundance of love and patience, but also, a great deal of stamina, and the basic skill sets of numerous professions – counselor, negotiator, dietician, educator, coach, nurse, and so on.  Juggling the many hats of parenting with the responsibilities of work and home can lead to stress.  This is especially true, when parenting a child with autism or other disability who additionally presents with his or her own unique challenges and needs.  When stress becomes overwhelming, it is natural to reach out to family and friends for support and advice.  There may be times however, when your usual support system is unable to provide the level of support you need.  Geographical distance, a lack of understanding and knowledge of autism or simply, a fear of saying the wrong thing are several reasons why this may occur.  Most people give parenting advice based on their own experience.  They may as a result, feel less confident when offering advice for a child with special needs.  This is often complicated by the fact that autism is an invisible disability in that a child with autism physically appears typically developing.  (A child experiencing a meltdown, for example, may be viewed as spoiled, rather than a child who is over-stimulated by their environment.)  Providing your support system with information on the disability is often helpful in expanding their knowledge and understanding and thus their ability to be supportive.  I especially recommend Ellen Notbohm’s book, “Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew”.

When you need more support than your family and friends can provide, you may want to consider joining a support group.  Simply defined, a support group is a group of individuals who share a similar life experience (such as having a child autism) and who meet on a regular basis (usually monthly) to give and receive support.  A support group may be led by a professional such as a Social Worker or Counselor, or by a layperson that is also a member of the group.  The latter is often referred to as Self-help Support Group.  Either way, the support provided by the group can help members to feel more connected and less isolated as they meet the challenges presented by their common experience.  By sharing their feelings and stories, members help validate each other’s experiences and concerns.  The hope, understanding and empathy, offered by the group, also help to bolster members’ coping skills and sense of well-being.  On a more practical level, support groups help members through the sharing of information and knowledge.  This information often includes parenting strategies and techniques that members have found helpful or referrals to caring and knowledgeable professionals.  Support Groups are also a wonderful way to network within the autism community to learn about the many resources available to families.  An added bonus of joining a support group is the opportunity to make new friends and expand your social network.

Support Groups have become very popular over the past twenty years and are now sponsored by various agencies and community organizations.  Gloucester County Special Services, for example, offers a variety of support groups for parents and families who have children with special needs.  All of the groups (Siblings, Grandparents, Fathers, and two Mothers’ Groups) are free and open to the community.  In addition, organizations such as Autism NJ also sponsor and facilitate free support groups throughout the state.  (www.autismnj.org) For those whose work schedule or home responsibilities make it difficult to attend a support group in the community, there are also online groups such as Yahoo’s NJ Families with Autism (mail to:  NJFamiliesWAutism@yahoogroups.com).  Caution should be observed however, since confidentiality issues may be at risk because of the public nature of the internet.  Having said that, these groups can provide families with valuable information on local resources and services.  If you would like more information about support groups, please feel free to contact me at lsnock@gcsssd.org.  

Linda Snock, MSW, LSW

School Social Worker

Bankbridge Development Center